Here's the list:
Top Ten Ways The Country Would Be Different If Chris Christie Were President:
10. Al-Qaeda taunts America with “Yo President’s so fat” jokes
9. Goodbye White House vegetable garden
8. Cabinet will now have a Secretary of Cake
7. New state: Fatassachusetts
6. Congress does whatever he wants, ’cause fat guys are, like, super-strong when they freak out
5. Presidential retreat moved from Camp David to Hersheypark
4. Taxpayers would have to pay for the President’s second seat on Air Force One
3. New national anthem: the “Chili’s baby back ribs” song
2. Instead of Iraq, we’d invade IHOP
1. Scandal when President is caught in Oval Office with Betty Crocker and Sara Lee
And here is the complete video.
Earlier in the show, they also present a brief video of a "simulation created by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory" of what might happen if Christie were to join the other Republican candidates for a debate. The video showed the many candidates standing at their podium across a stage, with Christie stage right. When he began to speak, his side of the stage sank down significantly, and the remainder of the stage lifted up, sliding all the other candidates his way.
David also asked Paul Schafer, "What do you think he weighs, must be at least 400 pounds."
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